Today I started my blog on the start of my journey from GHBaddiction – a journey from the high life to near death, and now the process ofreconnecting to my true inner self.
GHB is gamma hydroxybutyric acid, also called liquidecstasy, liquid G, and G.
Small doses stimulate one’s mood and help to relieve anxietyand depression, also causing profound euphoria, and at correct doses, energy,and increased libido, along with a marked decrease in inhibitions. It makes onefeel confident, sexy and invincible on the one side of the spectrum, but itleads to dangerously unpredictable mood swings which are bipolar in nature, alongwith aggressive behavior and uncontrollable rage and crying.
As a regular, (at times daily), GHB user, I experienced allof the above including memory loss and a deeply impacted mental state in whichI started to talk non-stop, including to myself, and experiencehallucinations.
I struggled at times to breathe normally. My legs and anklesswelled up from water retention and what must have been oedema.
In the end I could not get through a day without it, despitewhat I experienced.
I would often pass out, especially initially.
I would collapse on hard tiled floors.
I was often severely bruised as a result.
I would have no recollection of what had happened.
There are many times when I could have been raped.
And this is what needs to be understood, GHB is a date rapedrug. A USER TAKES THIS RISK EVERY TIME THEY CONSUME IT BECAUSE THE USER’SREACTIONS TO THE DRUG ARE HIGHLY UNPREDICTABLE.
UNDILUTED OR INCORRECTLY DILUTED DOSES RESULT IN RESPIRATORYDEPRESSION AND FAILURE, AND DEATH.
A USER PLAYS RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH THEIR LIFE WITH EVERY SIP THEY TAKE, THAT MAKES IT A VERY DANGEROUS, IF NOT THE MOST DANGEROUS DRUG AVAILABLE AT THE MOMENT.
The struggle for the user is the euphoria experienced is noteasily, if ever, forgotten, and this is one of the challenges that makesrecovery from GHB addiction so challenging, along with inappropriate treatmentmodules, and a lack of understanding of the effects of this substance withinthe South African medical fraternity and rehabilitation services provided atpresent.
I need to say all this to help you understand what iskeeping me in FRASERBURG.
You need to know the strength of the demon that I am up against.
I am sitting here in the KAROO, THE ANTITHESIS OF THE HIGH LIFE I LEAD IN CAPE TOWN AS A V.I.P. CLUBBER AND HARD-CORE PARTIER.
I will need to explain that life separately in order to doit justice.
Today my therapist, whose medical area of specializedknowledge includes GHB ADDICTION, called me into his office. He senses myconflict. Yet it is a daily conflict for me, but yes, it does seem greater atthe moment as the end of my official time on his program draws near.
We both know what I am up against.
We both know what is at stake.
I plan to spend the weekend with Michelle, a past patientwho lives here in FRASERBURG, to try gain more clarity on the option ofcontinuing a simple life in this little KAROO town, at least for the timebeing.
The decision is then to meet up again on Monday and discussthis period of soul searching further. This is the extent of care and supportthat I am receiving here at Inner PEACE.
Below are some of my photographs, depicting the simplicity of FRASERBURG, in contrast to the life I have had to leave behind in Cape Town.